New Rules for Interpersonal Conduct in (the) Office

1. There will be NO joking around in emails or elsewhere.

2. Even if “Everybody Does It” and or “Everybody Says It” there will be NO kidding, teasing, or snide/snarky remarks.

3. There will no winking, sneering, snickering or looking askance.

4. NO wiggling of eyebrows or fluttering of eyelashes.  In exceptions such as itching, or a foreign body in the eye…see your supervisor.  

5. ALL comments, remarks, notices, memos or whatever will be taken at FACE VALUE.

6. There will be ZERO TOLERANCE  for any innuendos that could be construed as sexist or sexually suggestive…such as “looks like rain.”

includes FLIRTING and COME HITHER LOOKS

7.In the event that an attraction of any kind develops: FORGET IT.   

8. Any formerly accepted rules of interaction which could or might result in a) Dating; b) mutual admiration; or c) a flirtatious interchange…are forbidden.

9. In the event that any questions or clarification of any of the aforesaid rules may be taken up with your supervisor….BUT BE CAREFUL!